Christmas Tribute to 
Serena and Eric:
Our First Christmas Without You

CHRISTMAS WITHOUT SERENA

You linger in my mind as a comfort and a pain
Comfort as I still see your face and hear your voice
Pain because I cannot speak with you and yet I wait
Somehow believing that I will see a note come again

This time last year you were designing a special gift
We stayed up late laughing and talking of the surprise
My friend would have when he opened up that box
Browsing amid the decoys enclosed so he’d have to sift

Through papers and ribbons and bird seed galore
I laughingly planned to dump in his box
Oh how we laughed picturing it all in our minds
A special, one-of-a-kind gift not found in a store

Christmas will be so hard for me this year
It already hurts and as the time gets nearer
The pain in my heart will grow more intense
There is no way to stop shedding tear after tear

Falling and falling until I am empty inside
Oh, Serena, Serena, my heart aches for you
It aches for your little angels who are as lost as I
Is there a way to come back and your spirit abide

This Christmas, dear friend, of my heart and my soul…
Memories and love are never lost,
They come again and again, renewing our hope.

Juanita©
May not be reproduced without permission from the author

THIS CHRISTMAS

My beloved handmaiden, Joann, with the gentle heart
I know your pain and hear your sobs deep into the night
I hear your repeated question, asking of Me “why”
Why did I take your children, why did you have to part

Joann, I didn’t snatch your children away from you that April day
Heaven’s host was watching as the accident occurred
Broken bodies were left behind in pain among that twisted steel
Bodies of my children, too, beyond mending on the pavement lay

Would you truly have wanted them left behind year after endless year
No longer able to laugh and run, to tease and to romp and play
So in My great mercy I called them home and forever they will abide
Having the endless reaches of heaven as home and never to shed a tear

I know your heart is so heavy my child, but I am asking you to trust in Me
I loved them both enough you see, to give up My Son to bring them here
It isn’t over my beloved child, although to you it may seem long and hard
But in an instant, a twinkling of eye, once more your children I promise you’ll see

Then, my beloved handmaiden, you will wonder why did I so doubt Him
He knew from the instant of the crash that their happiness could only be
If their Father took them home to tend to His heavenly flock
Oh, Joann, close your eyes, believe in Me, I promise you will be with them

Listen not with your ears, but your heart, listen, I pray with your heart
I hold them tenderly in My hand, they are precious to Me don’t you see
Know they will be with you this Christmas if only you will open your heart
Look with your spirit, Joann, Eric and Serena did not really depart

They are standing there waiting for you to find the peace you need
Open up your heart, My child, for I will never leave nor forsake you
Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen
If you will have faith and listen with your heart, and to My words you heed

Two angels will visit with you this Christmas.

Juanita©
May not be reproduced without permission from the author

A MOTHER’S PRAYER

Here I am, Lord, broken in spirit and in strength
I know You have asked that I trust and believe
But, oh, my Lord, there is such raging pain within
How, great God, do I reach out to You and receive

Healing for this loss all mothers live in fear of enduring
I don’t know what to do, oh Lord, all I do is swim in my tears
Grief, grief so deep, I cannot give it words, nor ask for help
I seek for peace but it escapes me and all I know are fears

He was my heart, the son of my soul, how do I go on
I need Your strength and Your guidance in the way I should walk
I stumble and do not wish to arise, why should I go on without my heart
Oh great God, send me a word, someone with whom I can talk

Someone with whom I can scream out my pain and suffering
He was my SON and how can I go on without him I pray
You lost Your Son and watched Him die as I watched mine
I need Your help to find healing and for peace to come and stay

Sometimes, Lord, I do not think I can arise and face another day
This manchild gave me such joy in all that he did and said to me
My Eric, was so much a part of who I am, we were so intertwined
I could look upon his face and feel goodness for all the world to see

I waited for my grandchildren that would come when he and Serena wed
A blending of their personalities and I could imagine all the joy we’d share
I would tell them stories as they sat upon my knee that only a grandmother knows
Pour out my love again, and teach them love and kindness and the ways to care

The way their Mommy and Daddy had always cared and, of course, I knew
Each child would have a love for all God’s creatures and tenderly they would love
Now, all my dreams are shattered, and I can’t get beyond this excruciating pain
Help, help me to understand, I know that heaven is real, but it so very far above.

It is Christmas, a time of miracles, I pray that one may come to me.

Please help me.


Juanita – December 21, 2003 ©
May not be reproduced without permission from the author

THEIR FIRST CHRISTMAS IN HEAVEN

Have you ever wondered if there was ever snow
Falling softly down on Christmas Eve in heaven
I’ve wondered if the angels skate upon a pond
Do you think we will ever see or if we will ever know

Somehow since they left us and took up residence there
I think that if there is snowfall there and if it gets very deep
Eric and Serena will be out throwing snowballs
While wary saints and angels, must watch and have a care

Those two, I imagine, are up to mischief and have a plan
Joined of course by Willow, they are hiding and in wait
For just the right moment when someone will slip on the ice
Then that impish threesome will yell, “get up if you can!”

They rush to the middle of the city square to help decorate the tree
Millions of birds are circling round and each bird leaves as a gift
Precious stones of every color, which they hang upon each branch
The couple holds hands as they watch which is truly heaven to see

Then they hear a beautiful song and look as the choir moves near
Songs of old and songs quite new and so lovely that tears begin
Voices and instruments fill the heavens and joy fills every heart
Eric and his Serena are spending their very first Christmas here

Joy, such joy, fills every heart and the light from the tree forms a rainbow
It sends its’ colors far into the sky and all about the city it glows
Filling the mind and filling the soul as Eric and Serena breathe in
Then lower their eyes downward to earth, as Serena quietly says, “they should know”

A Christmas in Heaven.

Juanita – Christmas 2003 ©
May not be reproduced without permission from the author

A Child Loaned

"I'll lend you, for a time,
A child of mine!" He said.
"For you to love while he lives,
and mourn for when he is dead.
It may take six or seven years,
or twenty-two or three,
but, will you, till I call him back,
take care of him for me?"
"He'll bring his charms to gladden you,
and should his stay be brief,
you'll have his lovely memories
as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay
since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught down there,
I want this child to learn.
I've looked the wide world over
In search for teachers true.
And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes,
I have selected you!
Now will you give all your love,
nor think the labor vain,
nor hate me when I come to call
to take him back again?
I fancied that I heard them say,
'Dear Lord, Thy will be done!'
For all the joy this child shall bring
the risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter him with tenderness
we'll love him while we may.
And for the happiness we've known
we'll ever grateful stay.
But should your angels call for him
much sooner than we planned
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes
and try to understand

By Edgar A. Guest
(submitted by Juanita)

Thoughts of Serena & Eric
Sadly missed and thought of often with a smile for the joy they brought to the world. They are gone from this earth but never forgotten. Always fondly remembered and loved.
"Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift up flinging of quiet birds in circling flight,
I am the soft star that shines at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I did not die."
Posted by Carolyn (& Opie) 12/22/03

To the Parents of Serena and Eric:

CHRISTMAS IN HEAVEN

"Tis Christmas in Heaven
What a beautiful sight!
It’s our first one here;
Everything is all right.

The crib is adorned
With the brilliance of stars;
Wisemen have come
From Venus and Mars.

We’ve met all our dear ones
Who preceded us here;
The reunion was lovely,
An event full of cheer.

And tonight we’ll all gather,
In reverence we’ll kneel,
For the Babe in the cradle
Up in Heaven is REAL.

I think of our families
That We left behind
And I pray that your Christmas
Is as blessed as mine.

Please shed no more tears,
For our souls are at rest.
Just love one another,
Live life to its best.

Yes, it’s Christmas in Heaven,
So We’ve heard them say
Yet, Christmas in Heaven
Happens every day."

From your loved ones above……
Love always Serena and Eric
Posted by Janette 12/22/03

Dear Joann, Brenda and Dennis, and all those who knew and loved Serena & Eric:

My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you during this holiday time and throughout the year.  I am unable to write beautiful poetry as my good friend Juanita is - but my heart is there and joins you in your grief at this time.  I considered Serena a friend.  And I miss her terribly. I continue to look for her posts - as if somehow magically they will reappear.  I feel she inspires me and others to do the right things at the right time - as she always seemed to do herself.  I believe she continues to live on in the hearts and minds of all who loved her.

And Joann - when I read your poems and other heartfelt writings - my heart breaks for you. I can't imagine what it is like to lose a child - so I often go hug my own son after reading of your pain. I am so glad you have been able to reach out to those who carry the love and memories of Serena.

So while I am unable to write beautiful poems, I create these pages in the hopes of providing an ongoing memorial to Serena and Eric. And as long as my website exists - these pages will endure. I only wish there was some way to do more.

Hugs,

Ellen in Maine

Our Other Memorial Pages:

In Loving Memory of Serena Beeton (msbee122) - Page 1

Serena's Garden of Clay Creations - Page 2

Special Memories - a Tribute to Serena's Life - Page 3

One Year Anniversary Tribute to Serena Beeton & Eric Lashbaugh - Page 5

From the Heart: Joann's Poems to Eric and Serena(poetry by Eric's mother) - Page 6

The Beginning of a Wonderful Friendship by Serena Beeton - Page 7

Remembering Serena and Eric - Page 8

Links to Other Memorial Sites for Serena:

Loving Condolences in the Loss of Serena

Serena - Bitty Board Forum

Serena (in French)

Serena Beeton

Guestbook - Potomac News Online

Mickaboo Cockatiel Rescue

Special thank you to Juanita for sharing
her beautiful poetry with us! 

Midi - Angels We Have Heard on High by
Margaret's Christmas Midi's